Me being pensive...go figure

I have exactly 15 minutes for writing this post , finish an online pictionary game and get back to studying.My universities start on monday and needless to say am more than nervous. The stage for any pre- exam oh - my - god - am - gonna - pee - my - pants tension should have been dead and gone three years ago but for me it still remains .Maybe because my lfe isn't big enough , you know? Like an exam does seem somehow like the end of the world to me.This is the point where I remind myself that this is just a temporary lull and life will pick up in a while. I can't wait really , for life to start happening . It gets me all nervous and makes me get butterflies in my stomach but it's the best feeling .It's dimmed a little since I do know that sometimes change isn't always a good thing . I should know, I have lost and found friends, met some very interesting people , had to grapple with ideas totally new, battle with new beliefs and old.It's been interesting .The pensiveness of this post probably comes from the fact that I flunked. flunked bad.For one of my asubjects in the pre- universities. My classmate did tell me to write a post that day , so i could get my feelings out.LOL.I was happy SOMEBODY was reading my post . But then , that day I was pissed . Pissed with myself , with the world, with the people in it , with the system. with god. But I do know that it isn't all lost .May be it was necessary to get my focus back . Right , Don't know why I am writing this . I just want to keep listening to Amy winehouse sing 'you know I am no good' . Plus coming hols, I may get a tattoo.So yay me.For now, I am going to get back to studying. Come to think of it ..Life is happening . RIGHT NOW. Might as well go live it , right?